Be Authentic
If someones asks you, share how you have faced difficulties and trials in your journey. Sometimes people need to be reminded that it’s okay to have questions and even doubts about God. This is an opportunity to listen and for someone to voice their thoughts without judgment.
It’s wise to be authentic in not having an answer to someone’s question! For example, we don’t really know why that God allows a young child or family member to suffer with cancer. Telling people that God does this for His glory or that God has some special plan for this family misrepresents God. Do we know what God is doing? Should we make assumptions and judgments on things that aren’t clear?
Compassionate Understanding
Be cautious in using Romans 8:28 and other verses with hurting people. While nothing separates us from God’s love, we need to show God’s love in responding with grace and patience. Often people are more concerned about sharing “truth” and Bible passages than understanding! How would you feel if you were in this person’s situation? Consider showing empathy and compassion. Do you desire to provide comfort to others? Can you remember times when you struggled?
Consider how Jesus answers John the Baptizer’s question while he was in prison:
Luke 7:20-23 Berean Standard Bible (BSB)
20When the men came to Jesus, they said, “John the Baptist sent us to ask, ‘Are You the One who was to come, or should we look for someone else?’ ”
21At that very hour Jesus healed many people of their diseases, afflictions, and evil spirits, and He gave sight to many who were blind. 22So He replied, “Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. 23Blessed is the one who does not fall away on account of Me.”
What is very interesting in this passage is that Jesus doesn’t mention certain parts of this prophecy from Isaiah 61:1 BSB: Notice what Jesus leaves out in this report:
1The Spirit of the Lord GOD is on Me,
because the LORD has anointed Me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives
and freedom to the prisoners,
Why did Jesus exclude this? Perhaps because He wanted John to know that his prison stay and coming death was part of God’s plan. Jesus demonstrates His mission and identity for John’s disciples to observe and report back.
Jon Bloom writes an excellent short piece about Jesus’ love and compassion for John in this situation:
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/john-the-baptists-doubt
If Jesus shows mercy to those facing doubts and struggles, how then should we as His followers interact with others? For more about Jesus and John the Baptist’s question:
https://www.gotquestions.org/John-the-Baptist-doubt.html
Minimizing Other’s Pain & Active Listening
“So often we try to make other people feel better by minimizing their pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that’s not what I actually needed. What I actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered. I have found this very useful to think about over the years, and I find that it is a lot easier and more bearable to be sad when you aren’t constantly berating yourself for being sad.” ~
John Green, accessed August 23, 2023 https://www.azquotes.com/quotes/topics/minimizing.html
Ever faced a painful trial? How do you feel when someone says: this is for the best because God has something greater? These sayings and others like it minimize the person’s experience and doesn’t recognize or empathize with the hurt. Perhaps the best way to handle this is to be present in other’s lives actively listening and praying for and with them.
Before condemning or preaching at/to others, I believe that we should actively listen! Listen for clues to what this person is really saying. Most people talk about deconstructing or struggling with their faith in stages. This is typically a process not a one time decision. Unfortunately, judgmental and hypocritical responses from Christians make this worse. A kind ear and hug can go a long way for a hurting person! Do we respond with understanding or criticism?
We don’t know who may be observing us and how we respond to our trials or care for others. Pray for these individuals and invest time in loving him/her. Love them as they are not as you want them to be! All followers/pilgrims are all on a faith journey with ups and downs!
Personal Example:
An fellow college student sought me out to tell me that he couldn’t “pretend” to follow Christ any longer. He couldn’t be good enough for Jesus. He was choosing to live a life that included behaviors that he knew wouldn’t please God. He was done trying to be good enough. He would rather enjoy sin than pretend to love God. It seemed as though he was being honest about his struggles with God and holy living.
He didn’t ask for a theology lesson, he wanted me to listen. This allowed me to respond to him with grace and truth after he asked me what I thought. Listen first then speak if requested! I told him that he was closer to Christ than he realized. He was aware that he was lost and that’s the first step in coming to Christ. He was done pretending. That’s when God’s grace becomes real to a lost person.
I encouraged him to seek Christ and to live by grace instead of seeking pleasure. Addictive behaviors have a root! This young man had deep shame and disgust for himself–he didn’t see himself worthy of God’s love. This shame was leading him away from God. I prayed with him that he would experience and come to understand God’s love and grace–that God would give him a new heart to hunger and thirst for God’s righteousness.
God doesn’t give up on people nor should we! It is His grace that saves not our efforts! The best we can do for others is to love them as Christ does knowing that He is the Redeemer and the Righteous Judge!
Some would be quick to remind me that I speak more about God’s mercy, compassion, grace, and desire to save people than to warn them of the coming judgement of God. Does threatening people with God’s coming judgment motivate them to repent and turn to Christ? That’s the question I have to ask myself when listening to others before responding. Does a person who doesn’t fear God repent because they fear the fires of hell?
What does it mean to repent? Does this mean that a person stops sinning or never struggles again in life? Repent means to change one’s mind: to turn around to walk with God according to His ways instead of the world’s ways. However, repentance is a process!
Are you willing to walk with someone on the path of repentance? This means being patient and trusting that God will work in a life and that redemption is a process! How we walk with others is important: we lead people toward or away from Christ!
Comforting Quotes to Reflect Upon
All the following quotes are from the following article available online at following link:
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/john-the-baptists-doubt
In this age, even the greatest, strongest saints experience deep darkness. None of us are spared sorrow or satanic oppression. Most of us suffer agonizing affliction at some point. Most of us will experience seasons when we feel as if we’ve been abandoned. Most of us will die hard deaths.
Jon Bloom, “John the Baptist’s Doubt”
Sometimes God doesn’t heal our wounds in a quick manner! Often, we will struggle and not even know why! In your moments of difficulty recall:
The Savior does not break the bruised reed. He hears our pleas for help and is patient with our doubts. He does not condemn us. He has paid completely for any sin that is exposed in our pain.
Jon Bloom, “John the Baptist’s Doubt”
This last quote is the most powerful one!
He does not always answer with the speed we desire, nor is his answer always the deliverance we hope for. But he will always send the help that is needed. His grace will always be sufficient for those who trust him. The hope we taste in the promises we trust will often be the sweetest thing we experience in this age. And his reward will be beyond our imagination.
Jon Bloom, “John the Baptist’s Doubt”
May God’s Abundant Grace strengthen you in your moments of need. May He guide you and direct you to those who need to hear and see the Good News through your witness!
Words of Grace & Hope 