This article post comes from a conversation with a friend. Grief is a deeply personal journey. I want to be upfront: there is no magic fix, or some cliche, or theological truth(s) that can make loss hurt any else. Often grief is something that we grapple with for long seasons after the loss(es). The best thing we can do with others who are walking through grief is to be present, and actively listen. People walking through grief don’t need theological theories or platitudes.
There is no right word that anyone can say that will “cheer” up someone. Often the worst aspect of grief is feeling isolated. This is a time wherein simple acts of kindness and love speak loudly!
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Nor do I desire to minimize the difficulties and sorrows that you are facing in your time of grief. My intent is to share some truths in these posts. Truths that can help us all to walk closer to Christ, love and better listen to others. To begin this post, here’s a devotional:
https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2022/03/31/what-good-is-grief
This devotional is good place to start without being overwhelmed.
Grief Includes Various Types of Loss
Grief is a process of dealing with any loss. This can be numerous events, difficulties, or even things that didn’t happen. This video explains the grief of broken dreams.
We face grief when others leave us during times of transition. Parents encounter the “empty nest” transition. Jobs, careers, and other employment situations bring grief into our lives. Ever been turned down for a promotion? Experienced being laid off or fired? What about being wrongly accused or mistreated? Started a job and it doesn’t work out for you?
Sometimes the wounds are deeper than we admit or other’s recognize in our lives. We live in a broken, hurting world wherein people are hurt and deviously hurt others. The current world “wars” and regional conflicts continue. It’s often civilians who pay the price in these conflicts. Thousands are killed, injured, and scarred for life. I often wonder where God is and why He doesn’t intervene. But this is where faith comes into account.
Grief: an avenue to God?
Grief can lead us closer to Christ. When Jesus is teaching in Matthew Chapter 5 (The Beatitudes), He says something surprising: Berean Standard Bible (BSB) emphasis mine
3“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn,
5Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Jesus is explaining what it means to be “blessed.” Consider this quote:
The Greek word translated “blessed” means “happy, blissful” or, literally, “to be enlarged.”
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus uses the word to refer to more than a superficial happiness; in this context, blessed refers to a state of spiritual well-being and prosperity.
The happiness is a deep joy of the soul. Those who experience the first aspect of a beatitude (poor, mourn, meek, hungry for righteousness, merciful, pure, peacemakers, and persecuted) will also experience the second aspect of the beatitude (kingdom of heaven, comfort, inherit the earth, filled, mercy, see God, called sons of God, inherit the kingdom of heaven).
https://www.gotquestions.org/beatitudes.html accessed 11/10/23
Jesus is teaching about His Kingdom! For this article, I want to focus on verse 4. For an in depth explanation:
https://www.gotquestions.org/blessed-are-those-who-mourn.html
In summary, God’s Kingdom works differently than that of the world. Jesus is referring to mourning as a state of being unhappy with our sin(s) and being comforted in the sense of God’s grace and forgiveness. Isaiah 66:2 and 2 Corinthians 7:10 relate as well. This leads us to the next truth.
Those who learn to mourn over their own sin find the heart of God. And intimate fellowship with God is the very foundation of true happiness.
https://www.gotquestions.org/blessed-are-those-who-mourn.html accessed 11/10/23
True joy and happiness are in Christ, not the temporal pleasures and treasures of this world. Is Christ your treasure? Is He your reason and purpose for life?
Sin is the source of all sorrow and loss
When I write “ultimate source” I mean that sin and separation from God is the worst type of sorrow. When we sin and others sin against us, it leads to broken relationships, sorrows, and difficulties. As you probably have experienced in life, people hurt us and we hurt others likewise. We all have fallen short of God’s righteous standard. The Good News of the Gospel is that Jesus through His atonement made redemption and renewal available. Jesus came to save us: this is God’s answer to all the evil and losses of this world! Jesus is the answer to the “where is God, when ______. Take a moment to read Isaiah 53. Consider the Gospel accounts of what Jesus endures before dying. Jesus is aware of your sorrows! He came to redeem you and transform you into a new creature!
What if there is a greater meaning and purpose than our present sorrows?
What if the process of grief is part of God’s plan to draw you closer to Him? Through walking with God in times of grief, we learn to depend on Christ and not ourselves, others, or things to comfort us.
“So suffering is at the very heart of the Christian faith. It is not only the way Christ became like and redeemed us, but it is one of the main ways we become like him and experience his redemption. And that means that our suffering, despite its painfulness, is also filled with purpose and usefulness.”
Timothy Keller, “Walking with God through Pain and Suffering”
I have found Timothy Keller’s book helpful in my own journey. When we see that God is doing something greater it encourages us to press ahead in our walk with Him!
Closing Thoughts
When I feel the sting of grief and sorrow, I find comfort in these verses of a favorite hymn,
Words of Grace & Hope 