What does it mean to let go? Tim Fletcher discuses this in his video presentation:
Use the chapters in the video description to listen the relevant chapters for your scenario:
Perspectives
Letting go implies that we are releasing ourselves from parts of the past.
Source:https://www.verywellhealth.com/how-to-let-go-of-past-trauma-5212227
The source link provides several ideas to assist you in moving forward.
Tim reminds us that often it’s not “one thing” that we need to let go–we tend to “misdiagnosis” our own problems. The best method is to consider a wider perspective. For example, what is the root of the issue(s)? Can you identify unhealthy thought patters, actions, or relationship attachments in your life? What is the root of each?
Trauma’s impact on thinking
Trauma has lasting effects on the brain. It can become difficult to feel fully alive in the present moment. When we are not living in the moment, we are reliving the past—or fearful of what might happen in the future.
Source:
Tim explains how our beliefs and values can be based on “lies” from past connection failures during childhood. When we embrace untruths, it impacts how we connect with ourselves and others! Often these “lies” are subtle and deep in our subconscious. The fearful and dismissive avoidant attachment styles (generally referred to as insecure attachment styles) typically have unrealistic core thoughts about self and others.
Attachment styles tend to develop during our childhood. Attachment theory helps to explain our patterns of thoughts, behaviors, and reactions in our relationships. The goal is to grow toward being more secure.
Insecure Attachment Styles
Consider that this is the reason that people tend to be “triggered” by certain memories and relationship patterns. To heal requires careful consideration of “core beliefs” and attention to thought and relational patterns.
Embracing the Light of His Presence in the Present Moment
Do we daily make the choice to embrace the light of His Presence? Am I focusing on the present moment and His abundant grace?
A.W. Tozer writes about God’s Presence in his book The Pursuit of God: The Human Thirst for the Divine
God is here when we are wholly unaware of it. He is manifest only when and as we are aware of His presence. On our part, there must be surrender to the Spirit of God, for His work is to show us the Father and the Son.
We find the presence of God in His Word and by a personal indwelling of Holy Spirit. Jesus explains His peace and the role of Comforter in John Chapter 14.
Narrow, hard path that leads out of the valley
Overly Strict Expectations for Self
One way that some seek to find relief is to set very high, unreasonable performance expectations for self regarding relationships, work, or other areas in life. What we believe about ourselves, the world, and other people in our lives impacts how we perceive and respond to our environment. Setting strict expectations is a person’s answer to feeling out of control.
Thoughts and Experiences of Feeling Out of Control
Our experiences also shape our beliefs about ourselves. We like to feel like we’re in control…
So when something happens that’s outside of our control, it’s often easier to blame ourselves.
We become overly critical of ourselves. And we may start to think, “If only I had been stronger, this wouldn’t have happened to me.” We end up feeling like the problem is with us, when really the problem is what has happened to us.
Source: “I Can’t Get Over Things that Happened in the Past” Mental Health America.
Why we can become self-righteous and “hard hearted” due to unrealistic expectations
It’s possible that we have unrealistically high standards for others’ as well. Consider the Pharisees whom Jesus warns about being “white washed tombs.” They sought to devise strict standards for ritual purity that became more important that seeking righteousness through God’s grace. Got questions explains the Seven Woes found in Matthew 23:13-36.
The scribes and Pharisees emphasized the letter, completely missing its spirit. . .The teachers of the Law and Pharisees were not truly seeking after God, though they acted as if they were.
Their religion was empty, and it was preventing others from following the Messiah.
https://www.gotquestions.org/scribes-and-Pharisees.html
Trauma and Hardened Hearts
Annie from Cornerstone of Hope writes about Holy Spirit’s role in healing
“I think it’s an instinctual act to harden ourselves amid trauma; to become guarded; to shutter our hearts. In order to heal, we are invited to do something that feels very counterintuitive: open up. And I truly believe the Holy Spirit is with us to help us, to give us grace and power and mercy in the process.”
Source: https://cornerstoneofhope.org/healing-our-hearts-from-trauma
We have a choice each day: we walk toward God in the Light of His grace and truth as we seek to become more like Him. Healing is a journey! Recovery and healing from trauma is possible.
The Journey to Wholeness is valley walk. However, the Light from above shines down to guide our steps in the path of grace and truth as we follow Him.
Words of Grace & Hope 