Part 2 of Series: Disappointment–Previous Post Betrayal
Intro:
In a previous post, I reflect on the issue of betrayal.
https://wordpress.com/post/wordsofencouragementinchrist.com/1837
This post will focus on disappointment with other people in our lives. Scripture passages are from Berean Standard Bible, images created using Night Cafe Studio A.I.
Sources of Disappointment
First, identify the source of our disappointment with others/life. The experience of discouragement/disappointment is a warning that something is not right. Just as physical pain warns us of injury, likewise emotional upset and suffering. Look deep in our souls–guided by God’s Word and Holy Spirit. Seek God’s Word for discernment and wisdom.
Helpful Questions for Reflection
- What are my expectations for others? Have I clearly communicated what I need and desire from others? Are my expectations fair, consistent, and reasonable?
- Am I engaging with others with an open mind, actively listening to what others are communicating?
- What are my boundaries for others? Am I respecting other’s boundaries?
- What is my primary attachment style? Do I avoid or feel anxious around others? The goal for personal growth is to be growing more secure in personal relationships.
Journey of Faith: Am I walking in His ways or seeking my own path apart from Him?
God reveals areas of sin in our lives and areas for personal growth. God calls us all to repent. Repentance is a process that is ongoing. Simply explained: we seek God’s Truth and respond to Holy Spirit’s prompting. When we realize we are walking/living apart from God then we change course to adjust ourselves to His ways.
Secondly, look to Christ for joy, hope, and peace in the difficult seasons. Remember that God disciplines and refines those He Redeems and Loves! Ultimately, our disappointments with others in life lead us to desire for God’s Return and Eternity with Him where there is no sin in our lives or others! Having been hurt by others leads us to be compassionate, kind, understanding, and gentle in our dealings with others as we learn from previous experiences.
Remember the example of our Gentle Savior! He was betrayed by his disciples, rejected by His own people, mocked, and tortured to death. If we want to be like Him, then we expect to be mistreated as He endured. God’s love, justice, and righteousness demanded a Perfect Sacrifice. Jesus was truly innocent and the Only Perfect Person, who left the glories of heaven to die for us!
Third, people in our lives, the world and joy with temporal things are temporary in nature. Things and people fail us, because only God is Complete and Perfect. Even the best friend/loving parent/partner will disappoint us. We are all fallen. We get hurt and we hurt others. Thankfully, God redeemed our failures on the cross. By His wounds, we are healed! Consequently, we daily strive to be a presence of light, hope, and grace in other lives.
Do you wonder why people dismiss you? Would knowing the reason make it less painful? Experiencing this situation is painful and leads a person to being less open and willing to fellowship with others. Is it something about ourselves? Or is that others are hurting and struggling?
Sometimes we face a fog of disappointment and despair in our lives when we feel alone. No fog lasts forever! Consider how the sun rays melt away the fog as the day progresses.
Introspective Questions
When I find myself becoming disappointed with people or life, God leads me to the following questions:
- What am I seeking first? Am I placing anyone or anything ahead of seeking His Kingdom and righteousness first?
- Where am I seeking joy, peace, and comfort? Am I looking to my job, finances, health, or relationships to find peace and contentment? If so then I am seeking an idol instead of my Creator and Savior.
- Why is my heart discontented? Pray through Psalm 103.
- Am I depending on anyone or anything for purpose, meaning, etc.?
As we look inward, we also likewise look upward at Christ considering His presence and truths. Disappointment is a sign of deeper issues and the time for a season for healing and restoration. Let’s consider a biblical example of friendship.
Example of True Friendship
Image of David and Jonathan 1 Samuel 20:41
1 Samuel 19 and 20 record a difficult season in young David’s life. The problem begins in 1 Samuel 18 when Saul becomes jealous of David. God graciously provides Jonathan as a friend for David. Jonathan is a true friend to David: Got Questions explains:
True friendship, according to the Bible, involves loyalty, sacrifice, compromise, and yes, emotional attachment. That is what we should learn from David and Jonathan.
Source: https://www.gotquestions.org/David-and-Jonathan.html
Are we seeking to be true friends to others? Do we demonstrate loyalty, love, and service to others? 1 Samuel 18 describes Jonathan and David’s friendship:
1After David had finished speaking with Saul, the souls of Jonathan and David were knit together, and Jonathan loved him as himself. 2And from that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father’s house.
3Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4And Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt.
Jonathan loves David as himself. He gives him his personal affects. Jonathan noticed that David was lacking these important items so he provided for this need. These commentaries explain the significance:
https://biblehub.com/commentaries/1_samuel/18-4.htm
As King Saul’s eldest son, Jonathan is showing great respect and love for David. Recall that David had been a shepherd, now he is a valued servant and later victorious general. Jonathan honors David.
This relationship is built on self-sacrifice, giving, and desire to see David thrive. Jonathan risks his father’s intense wrath on behalf of David (1 Samuel 20:30-31). Saul reminds Jonathan that as long as David lives he is a threat to his (Jonathan’s king ship). Jonathan values his friendship with David more than status or being a “future” king! He chooses loyalty and honor over personal promotion and power.
We see this in David and Jonathan covenants 1 Samuel 20:
16So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, “May the LORD hold David’s enemies accountable.” 17And Jonathan had David reaffirm his vow out of love for him, for Jonathan loved David as he loved himself.
Image: Modern friendship build upon a foundation of trust and mutual concern for the well-being of another.
Leaning in to Jesus: Our True Friend
Acceptance and forgiveness are paths to a grace filled life! When we are disappointed, this is a season to turn to Christ. We seek Him and pour out our troubles to Him! The Psalms set the example for us! We can pour out our hearts and discuss our hurts with Him. When others turn away or leave us behind, we know that we have a true friend in Jesus.
One of my favorite hymns is What a Friend We Have in Jesus
Stanzas 2 & 3 speak truth into this season of grief
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness,
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there.
May you find solace and rest in the Light of His presence! As His Light shines on us, may be we be true friends in the manner of Jonathan!
Words of Grace & Hope 