Serving Others and Maturing Through People Pleasing & Performance
Featured Image: Two oxen demonstrate strength by pulling in agricultural demonstration. Canva Pro Stock Image
In this article, I encourage you to examine and self-reflect on your life. I explain how the yokes of people pleasing and performance interrupts the natural flow of God’s presence.
What is service?
Oswald Chambers explains the meaning of service (updated edition): emphasis mine
Quote 1
“Service is the overflow which pours from a life filled with love and devotion. But strictly speaking, there is no call to that. Service is what I bring to the relationship and is the reflection of my identification with the nature of God. Service becomes a natural part of my life.
Commentary:
Natural not forced! Consider the concept of overflow! Service flows from what God is doing internally. The internal “flow” of God’s presence, guidance, and sustenance flows to the outward of our being and doing. As we grow and sustain our relationship with God (prayer, meditation, Bible reading, etc) then His presence flows through!
Service is “natural” in this positive feedback loop- not forced. We do because we are in this mindset of abiding in Christ. This mindset is one that we cultivate through daily reflection and practice.
Photo taken June 2023 Spring Source: Post with Reflections
In the post linked above, I include a photo that explains how the water flows from multiple sources underground to create a spring miles away from the original source. This is an analogy of how God recharges and flows His Living Water and presence through our lives. We’re the output source!
Quote 2 Chambers
“God brings me into the proper relationship with Himself so that I can understand His call, and then I serve Him on my own out of a motivation of absolute love. Service to God is the deliberate love-gift of a nature that has heard the call of God. Service is an expression of my nature, and God’s call is an expression of His nature.”
Commentary
The modern classic update of this quote adds:
“We may be called to serve him in big ways or in small, through the seemingly unimportant tasks that fill our days. The size of the act doesn’t matter.
If we perform it as an act of service, it becomes a sacramental expression. To serve God is the deliberate love gift of a nature that has heard his call.”
Sacramental expression means an expression or activity that increases our devotion to God. A sacrament in this context is a ritual or activity that reminds us of an aspect of God. Another similar term is ordinance: examples: baptism a physical image of devotion depending on God’s grace and transformation, Lord’s Supper–reminder of Jesus’ last meal and giving of Himself in atonement.
Bubbling stream that feeds the main pool.
Quote 3: Modern Classic: Echoing God’s Purpose: Holy Spirit’s presence
“If I have received God’s nature, if the Holy Spirit dwells inside me, I will hear the most beautiful echo when God calls, the voice from outside resounding on the inside, the two joining together to help me do his work. When the life of Jesus is revealed in me in this way, I will serve God’s purposes all the time, pouring myself out in super-abounding devotion to him.”
Commentary
The analogy of an echo shows us our proper mindset and position! We naturally serve God’s purpose(s) when we echo His nature! He is the Origin and Source: we align ourselves to His voice.
Devotional “God’s Nature and Ours” Available:
https://utmost.org/updated/the-call-of-the-natural-life/
People Pleasing
Psychology Today explains the roots and nature of people pleasing:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/people-pleasing
This article provides a well-balanced and practical view of this issue. People pleasing and the “religious performance yoke” leads to emotional and spiritual exhaustion. The solution involves recalling and centering ourselves on God’s presence as explained earlier in this article. We can clarity through self-examination and resting in God’s presence. Video explanation below:
The Heavy Yoke of Performance
Lee Malaulua explains in his blog post cited below:
https://www.leemalaulau.com/blog/8958725e
The Yoke of Performance
Lee explains why a growth mindset is critical to healing and growth:
“The irony is this:
They were aware they were under a performance yoke and came seeking help for it—yet they wanted that help delivered on their terms, through the very mindset that created the weight in the first place.
You can’t heal a yoke with the same thinking that put it on.
You can’t hold new wine with an old wineskin. You need a new wineskin. Meaning, you need new thinking.
And that requires humility, teach-ability, and courage.”
Commentary
Reading and reflecting on other authors/coaches like Lee have helped me to grow in understanding and recognition of these yokes. Understanding your mindset is key to growing and maturing! We need to be aware of the yokes that burden us and keep us from running this marathon journey of faith!
Seeking others’ perspective, and most importantly being humble enough to identify our people pleasing and performance based tendencies helps us to be teachable. A teachable person is one who places himself in a mindset of growth and accountability. This requires a growth mindset–one that faces challenges and sees opportunities for growth and maturity.
People Pleasing and False Humility
Farmers prepare soil for planting using their hardworking oxen with a simple wooden yoke. Canva Pro Stock Image
Lee continues: emphasis mine
“In the past, I would have explained myself. Felt guilty. Assumed I had failed. Tried to fix it.
Not from humility—but from old insecurities and a people-pleasing pattern I’ve spent years unlearning.
People-pleasing isn’t humility. It’s insecurity wearing spiritual language—and I was a pro at it.
And if we’re not careful, that same people-pleasing will cause us to absorb accusations, carry yokes that were never ours, and step into a kind of bondage we were never meant to live under.”
Commentary
We need to identify the root of people pleasing and false humility: insecurity. The solution to insecurity is security! Our security rests in Christ and His transforming work in our lives. This frees us from performance, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Understanding our limits, setting personal boundaries, and embracing a mindset of growth empowers us to live faithful and fruitful lives. Check out Lee’s posts, you will find them to be helpful if you’ve come from a performance/ religious background.
Words of Grace & Hope 