Finding Identity Beyond Online Validation

Personal Reflection

Recently, this author has been discerning how this writing ministry will continue. Writing about faith, personal journey, and putting “my personal thoughts” and perspectives out for anyone to read requires humility, discernment, and wisdom. One realizes that what one writes is often used to judge and “label” a person. This has been a risk that this author considers with each article published.

Yet, this author perseveres because he believes that proclaiming grace, truth, and hope are more important than being accepted, respected, or valued. Other blog authors have enriched his journey and this site and articles are part of his desire to bless others.

All images are A.I creations by the author using Night Cafe Studio.

Not Playing the Numbers Game

This writer doesn’t ask people to promote or share posts because that is up to readers to decide what is worth sharing. The author pays for this domain and site at own expense. He doesn’t request or accept monetary contributions or post on a site that requires payment/membership to read. This website isn’t about the author’s political preferences, favorite Bible translations, or other trivial matters that some Christians, atheists, and others enjoy debating. This website uses the Berean Standard Bible Translation for posting scripture because the authors/copyright owners allow it to be electronically reproduced with a free license. The BSB is a good translation that is faithful to the original languages and available free online.

This website welcome comments or questions at the email address on about page. It’s up to the reader to decide if posting a comment. All comments are moderated and the author will respond in a respectful, appropriate manner.

The author’s purpose in writing is to share insights and encourage others–not interested in debating theological viewpoints or criticizing/critiquing others. There are numerous YouTubers who have channels to react, respond, etc. That’s not this author’s calling or passion.

Safe and honorable people are truthful and deliberate in communicating with others. If a reader desires to get to know the author then perhaps reach out through email and let’s arrange a time to speak/communicate openly.

Social Media: Negative influence

Invite you to consider the wisdom of putting photos, information, and other things online for the purpose of others noticing you. Noble and worthwhile things are precious, does a wise person publicly reveal his treasures to all? Consider this quote from Akiko Busch (How to Disappear: Notes on Invisibility in a Time of Transparency). Click the hyperlink to read entire quote.

“Going unseen may be becoming a sign of decency and self-assurance. The impulse to escape notice is not about complacent isolation or senseless conformity, but about maintaining identity, propriety, autonomy, and voice. It is not about retreating from the digital world but about finding some genuine alternative to a life of perpetual display. It is not about mindless effacement but mindful awareness. . .Human endeavor can be something interior, private, and self-contained. We can gain, rather than suffer, from deep reserve.”

Sharing with Non-engaged, distant people

Social media within our contemporary culture promotes narcissism, selfishness, and shallow connections.

Social media sites’ algorithms promote posts that are viewed, reacted, commented, and re-posted or shared. So when a person creates content that is mostly ignored then social media sites don’t share it to feeds. This vicious cycle of non-engagement continues with a select few “stunts” or popular “liked” items being the only ones promoted or viewed. A person’s feed typically shows similar items that they have “liked” or shared. What one searches for, likes, or views similar photos or posts then show up.

As an example, when posting videos or images of windsurfing or flying down hills there would be numerous views. But if posting something that relates to God’s Word, truth, insights, etc. or encouragement, the videos were ignored and disliked.

What are we seeking? For others to know and approve of us because of how we appear? Or do we seek Him first and find rest in His Grace and Truth?

Social Media and Selfies: is it harmless?

Narcissism: Everyone is on a spectrum of narcissistic traits. Do you recognize your own traits and the impacts on others? Every person has a degree/amount of narcissism. These traits are necessary for survival. Melody Whitman writes:

“Psychologically speaking, narcissism is a personality trait that every person possesses to some degree. Like any characteristic, it exists on a spectrum. We all fall somewhere along the narcissism continuum. In fact, a certain amount of self-centeredness is healthy. Research shows that it contributes to confidence, resilience, and ambition.”

https://www.businessinsider.com/narcissism-vs-narcissist-2018-11

Social Media Fuels Narcissistic Traits

When a person presents a false or idealistic version of self and this “self” gains attention and admiration, a pattern of behaviors begins with increasing reinforcement.

Social Media Narcissism: Are the Apps Creating Narcissists?

We all have narcissistic traits as sinful humans. We want to be recognized, appreciated, and accepted.

Jealous Followers

Human beings are jealous by nature. Consider the book of James. Individuals “watch” and observe with evil intent. By their fruits you shall recognize them! Lust, envy, jealousy, and malice are at play with these people. Social media feeds these trolls.

Consider that photo/video content posted on social media becomes the property of the social media platform. Face book, Instagram, and You Tube are a stalker’s paradise and a playground for narcissists, avoidant people, and other toxic creatures. Do you “know” whom you are talking/communicating with? It is even a real person or a malicious person posing as someone to gain access?

Attracting Toxic Individuals

Avoidant and toxic people are attracted to caring, warm individuals. Decent, caring, honorable people don’t typically focus on deceiving or using others! If a person seems warm, caring, decent then they are targets to the monsters among us. There are vicious wolves who present themselves as injured sheep. When they lure you within striking range, their jaws will be locked on your throat to suffocate the life out of you.

Others are more vulnerable or subdued, but just like an alien “face-hugger” they will subdue you and have their way impregnating your mind/soul with their lies and manipulations. These manipulations will burst through your soul and leave you broken and mutilated. Then you will understand that toxic people really are parasites that consume others instead of being a source of life, light, hope, and truth to others.

Beware the sirens who sing gentle, pleasant songs to distract you from the sharp rocks near the water! The flatters and those who speak highly to inflate your ego and to manipulate you into making poor choices. Posting and being present on social media exposes one to all sorts of monsters. One of the enemy’s deceptions is the idea that people are good or decent by human nature.

Quiet gentle stream where life slows down and a person can rest in His Light and Presence.

Privacy is an essential need!

Bruce Schneir warns us:

Bruce Schneier (Data and Goliath: The Hidden Battles to Collect Your Data and Control Your World)

“Privacy is an essential human need, and central to our ability to control how we relate to the world. “

“Being stripped of privacy is fundamentally dehumanizing, and it makes no difference whether the surveillance is conducted by an undercover policeman following us around or by a computer algorithm tracking our every move.”

Blessed is the young man who walks with God. Met several of these great men working at local university. They walked with Him, and their character reflected it.

Young People and Social Media

Ministering to youth has been a major part of my ministry experience. Have you noticed how much time youth spend on the smart phone? They spent hours on Snap chat and other messaging programs sending messages to their “friends” who often are in the same physical location or nearby. Instead of being together in person, they are online together looking at phones instead of faces!

Sean Kernan writes in his member only article on Medium “America’s Unhappy Teenagers Have the Same Problems We do”: emphasis mine.

“Facebook becomes a pseudo-socialization that disrupts the normal restlessness that would cause you to call a friend, or go look for something to do with a peer. The act of scrolling the feed gives you a faux sense of activity and productivity that really isn’t helping the problem. . . High school and/or college are typically the most social times for all adults. Yet now, teenagers, who have far more free-time than most of us, aren’t even meeting up with friends. It doesn’t bode well for their futures.”

(this article is for paid Medium subscribers)

https://medium.com/@seanjkernan/americas-unhappy-teenagers-have-the-same-problems-we-do-9cbc98b9a135

What example do we set for others as adults? Youth notice parents and other adults constantly looking at a screen as well. They are watching what we do in church and in life. How we as adults interact or retreat into our own digital worlds.

Let’s not grow weary in engaging with people whom God sends into our daily paths! A conversation is a Gospel opportunity! The cross is calling us to come to Him!

That others might see Him in our lives!