My Journey of Grieving Ministry Rejection(s) & Setbacks
Featured Image: Photo by Malachi Cowie on Unsplash
“Life is a sacred journey, unfolding through light and shadow.
When the night feels long, remain steadfast—the dawn is already on its way.
Countless chapters of beauty and quiet grace are yet to be revealed.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Ministry like life is a journey! This journey requires courage, honesty, and perseverance.
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Not every ministry or calling from God is successful as other believers or the world defines it. God calls men and women to places/works of service wherein there are few converts/baptisms or visible progress.
Image created using Night Cafe Studio. Being outdoors in nature restores my energy and mood when discouraged or stressed.
Experiences in Ministry
God has placed people in my path to encourage who didn’t repent or turn to God in an observable way. The tragic experiences included friends/young ones walking away from God and aware of their need to change course but didn’t. I don’t know if they ever came to Christ or experienced healing.
I’ve served as fill-in speaker in churches that didn’t invite me to speak again or serve in an interim/transitional role. I’ve experienced rejection and long periods of time wherein I wasn’t invited to publicly speak.
Youth Ministry
Several young people left and refused to return when invited back. There was nothing that I was able to do. Those losses are deeply painful to one who genuinely cares for the youth. The issues centered on the actions of several church members and leadership. It wasn’t a personal rejection of me, but of an institution/organization that failed them.
To be in ministry requires accepting rejection. Not everyone desires to respond to the Gospel. Some will reject grace and attempts at reconciliation. Churches and individuals reject a person for reasons/things beyond our limited comprehension. Past hurts, disappointments, and bad experiences impact a person’s perception and willingness to engage.
I’ve witnessed people walking away and choosing the temporary comforts/pleasures of this world over faith and obedience to Christ’s Way. It hurts deeply when one isn’t able to convince others to turn to Christ in faith, trust, and obedience. We desire to see others changed, healed, and restored, but that isn’t always the outcome.
Healing, Restoration, and Transformation are Processes
Yet, God calls us to love and encourage others proclaiming His Good News of Grace and the need to turn from darkness to be made anew through His redemption. Often past experiences of failure/lack of progress discourages us from moving forward in this call. Accepting the past is crucial to moving ahead.
Photo by Zac Durant on Unsplash
Not Knowing “Why” is God’s mercy and kindness to us
Often we will not know the “why” behind God’s actions and this is an act of divine mercy. It’s possible that if we knew the “why” then perhaps we would walk away from God in bitter disappointment and unbelief. In ministry, we deal with our own past hurts, sinfulness, weakness, and lack of knowledge/perspective.
Consider Moses and the numerous Prophets of the Old Testament. They actively served to guide and shepherd God’s people who consistently rebelled and wandered away into idolatry. How many converts did Jeremiah have to celebrate? He too was forced into exile.
Perhaps not knowing is an act of loving-kindness and mercy. One difficulty of seeking God’s direction is that He doesn’t explain Himself or His reasons to us. Could we fully understand if He were to explain it? Would understanding make it less painful?
Previous Post: Acceptance
In Christ Alone we can endure and persevere in His call. Find rest and renewal in His Light and Presence.
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Justus
Justus (Joseph called Barsabbas) wasn’t chosen as an apostle. The eleven disciples replace Judas after his death: Acts 1:21-26
Acts 1:21-26
21Therefore it is necessary to choose one of the men who have accompanied us the whole time the Lord Jesus went in and out among us, 22beginning from John’s baptism until the day Jesus was taken up from us. For one of these must become a witness with us of His resurrection.”
23So they proposed two men: Joseph called Barsabbas (also known as Justus) and Matthias. 24And they prayed, “Lord, You know everyone’s heart. Show us which of these two You have chosen 25to take up this ministry and apostleship, which Judas abandoned to go to his rightful place.”
26Then they cast lots, and the lot fell to Matthias; so he was added to the eleven apostles.
Professor Kevin Moore writes:
“Joseph Barsabbas Justus was not being spurned by the congregation or by the apostles. It was the Lord himself who skipped over him in deference to another. In the biblical record nothing else is known of him outside the present text. He is simply remembered as the one not having been chosen by the Lord. “
“Each of us has likely experienced at certain stages of life having been overlooked, turned down, or passed over. The story of Joseph Barsabbas Justus teaches us that not being picked for one thing frees us up for other opportunities. In fact, God often has something much better in store (cf. Jer. 29:11-13). His purpose and plans are far beyond our short-sighted human reasoning (1 Sam. 16:7; Isa. 55:8-9), so trusting him is the best antidote for rejection and disappointment (Prov. 3:5-6; 2 Cor. 3:4-5).”
This post explains various sources and possibilities:
https://kmooreperspective.blogspot.com/2020/09/worthy-but-not-chosen-part-1-joseph.html
We don’t know why that God selected Matthias over Justus. God rejects Justus for the role of apostle. It wasn’t the other disciples or believers. The Book of Acts doesn’t explain why God chooses Matthias only that He does. Sometimes we face a similar situation. We desire to serve God in a particular setting or role and God or the congregation says no.
How I am Moving Forward in Ministry
First, I’ve invested time and financial resources in becoming a certified Integration Attachment Life Skills coach. Continue to learn about attachment theory and how to heal core wounds and grow toward becoming more secure in my relationships.
Second, I’m investing time in writing and editing previous blog articles. These articles will be posting on Life with Hleo group page. The plan is to make writings available to encourage others. No paywalls, or barriers for those seeking my work.
Third, God continues to guide me toward chaplain ministry. While at this stage in the journey, I”m working with those I encounter in everyday life. Being a chaplain is a way of relating and serving others! For me, it’s a way of life that daily requires active listening, and being present in the lives of coworkers, neighbors, and others.
Ministry is a way of life! It’s not a title or particular service in one institutional church. Some are called by congregations to serve as pastors, deacons, elders, etc. Facing rejection(s), being passed over has encouraged me to develop a broader mindset in discernment.
Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash
Patience and Resting in His Grace
Octavius Winslow, 19th Century English Evangelist and Pastor
“There is not a more God honouring grace of the Christian character than patience – a patient waiting on and for the Lord.
It is that Christian grace, the fruit of the Spirit, which will enable you to bear with dignity, calmness, and submission the afflictive dealings of your Heavenly Father, the rebuke of the world, and the wounding of the saints.”
Source: https://gracequotes.org/author-quote/octavius-winslow/
Biography on Pastor Winslow
https://www.christianstudylibrary.org/article/octavius-winslow-1808-1878
We’re responsible for being obedient and walking in faith (according to what He reveals about Himself and His Nature) when we don’t fully understand and feel rejected by Him or others. My encouragement is to keep pressing ahead in faith, love, and devotion, so that we might be found to be faithful when the journey ends or He returns!
Image generated using Night Cafe Studio: represent Jesus’ presence.
God’s Presence in Our Suffering Rejection
“There is no evil to be faced that Christ does not face with us. There is no enemy that Christ has not already conquered. There is no cross to bear that Christ has not already borne for us, and does not now bear with us.”
Pope John Paul II, Achille Silvestrini, Jerome M. Vereb (1999). “A Pilgrim Pope: Messages for the World”, p.272, Andrews McMeel Publishing
Jesus is present with us as we move forward in healing! You’re not alone in your journey!
Words of Grace & Hope 